Royal Blue Memories
by 14shadowrose
Summary: Haruto Yukimura, adopted son of Hiroki and Nowaki, gets into a car crash with his crush, Kazuki Saito. The only thing is Kazuki can't remember anything before the crash. He also doesn't remember his realization of his love for Haruto. How will Haruto get Kazuki to remember? And what stands in his way? [Horrible summary...Rated T in early chapters, may go to M in later ones. Yaoi]
1. Prologue

Prologue

Who would have thought that one moment of pleasure, one moment of weakness would have changed my life forever. I had resisted for so long. Fought him off. Telling him that I didn't love him and never would. Finally he caught me at my weakest. The weakest I'd ever been. The one that _I_ loved had left me and I didn't even get the chance to tell him that I loved him. I felt so guilty and so distraught that I would have said or done anything. Anything to feel love.

When he had leaned towards me for that one kiss that he had wanted for so long, I didn't push away. I didn't hit him to get him to stop. I was numb. I closed my eyes and imagined it was _him_. The thought of it being _him_ made my stomach churn. I deepened the kiss and so did he. Just as I started to feel the tip of his tongue on my lips I could hear the squeal of tires on the edge of my hearing.

I took no notice of it and grabbed his royal blue shirt. I always loved royal blue. In my mind it symbolized a new beginning. I had always gotten a cake with royal blue icing when I was younger for my birthday. It was the beginning of the coming year. A year that would be full of sadness, anger, betrayal, and disaster. But also give happiness, bliss, excitement, and peace. I never knew why the color royal blue sprung out of my mind as a "new beginning" color…but it did. Ironic that he would be wearing a shirt that was of that color.

Suddenly he pulled away and his pleasured face turned to one of horror. The squeal of tires I had heard earlier was now bursting my eardrums. For a moment I wondered why tires would be squealing, but then I realized that we had stopped at the side of the road after I started tearing up from our recent sendoff of our friend and my love. That is when things got serious. He had told me that he would never leave me and that he loved me with his every fiber. I took the bait and told him to kiss me. I guess I was so heartbroken that all I wanted was to feel another man against me.

Now we were both hearing another car screech toward ours, and he could see it. I wanted to turn around but I couldn't take my eyes off of his emerald ones. They held fear and I realized he wasn't staring at the car coming at me at 75 mph. He was staring at me. Suddenly I realized he feared for my safety. And I feared for his. Just as I heard metal collide against metal, I surged towards him. I covered him with my own body, knowing it wouldn't do much but at least I tried to protect him.

His body under mine was the last thing I felt before my vision went black. The last thing I thought before I succumbed to the darkness was that I had kept him safe. At least the one person that truly loved me was safe. I just wish I would have had the strength to tell him my realization of those few seconds. The one thing he had told me so many times, expecting for an answer that I never gave. All I wanted to say was…

_I love you._


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Darkness. That's all I know now. Who was I? Where did I come from? I don't remember. I can barely make out the beep of some machine. It almost sounds like a metronome. The steady _beep…beep…beep_ is almost like music for what I am now. I'm cold and I feel like I'm floating in a dark abyss. But I don't _see_ anything. I only feel it. I feel the darkness, the sound of the beep reverberating through me. It's so loud, but comforting. It's my only tie to whatever world I came from. Whoever I was.

I also hear voices. Faint and blurry. But there. I think I can make out some words. "…in a coma…when or if…wake up." "…let him rest." "Why is he…he protected me…Kazuki!"

Was that voice calling out to me? Am I Kazuki? Oh, now I remember. My name is Kazuki Saito. Who was speaking? How did it know me? Who were the others? Do I know them? They must be from where I came from. But where was I now? I had no clue.

Rest? Yes…I need to rest. Sleep would be good. Sleep…

"Kazuki...please wake up. I don't know what I would do without you. I'm already a wreck and it's only been a couple days. I want to see the way your blue eyes shine again," I smiled a bit as I looked down at Kazuki's pale face. He looked so peaceful. So innocent. I wanted to kiss him awake like the prince did to Sleeping Beauty. I wanted him to wake up!

I scooted my chair closer so I could lean against the bed he had been laying in for the past two days. I bit my lip. He didn't smell like Kazuki at all. He smelled like the hospital. Curse the doctors for taking away that musky scent that he always had. My heart sped up as I remembered smelling that as I leaned in for that kiss. The kiss that he returned. My body slowed back down as I remembered what happened after that fateful kiss. If I had just kept driving until we got off the highway Kazuki would be awake and smiling.

"I'm sorry," I breathed into the patient gown he wore, "It's all my fault."

"Mr. Yukimura!" A female voice sounded behind me. I didn't bother to look up. "You need to rest! Your leg and your arm need to heal." The nurse said again as she gently pushed me to sit up. I looked up at her slowly. A worried look crossed her face. I knew she wasn't worried for my arm and leg. She saw my dull, scared expression I had been wearing for two days. She knew I was more worried about Kazuki than myself.

She sighed and gently spoke, "Haruto, he will be fine. I'll watch over him while you sleep. If he wakes up I will personally come get you." Her eyes seemed sincere. I nodded and grabbed my crutches. She helped me to my feet and before we slowly made our way down the hall I stole one more glance at Kazuki. I pleaded to whoever was listening for Kazuki to be fine. To wake up tomorrow and be totally fine. To run into my arms and kiss me like he had never had before. I missed him.

When I opened my eyes I saw brightness for the first time in what felt like years. I moaned and closed my eyes again. I shifted away from the source of the light and tried to open my eyes again. What I first saw was easy to describe. Pale white walls and a window with the blinds closed next to a door. I glanced to where the light was coming from. It was another window, bigger than the first. Once my eyes adjusted I saw an outstretch of city. What city? I had no clue.

I then heard a strange noise. It sounded like a snore. I looked back to the dark side of the room and saw a man just a couple years older than I was, which was 19. That was one thing I remembered. I couldn't remember anything but my name, my age and the simple things like schooling. I don't remember actually being in school though.

I squinted, trying to make out the shadowy figure of the man sitting in the chair next to the bed I was lying in. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and finally I saw him. I blinked. He was fairly good looking. He had jet black hair that came to his eyebrows in the front and the middle of his neck in the back. His eyes where closed and if I saw right in the shadows, he had tan skin. Why was this man here? I don't remember ever meeting him.

I tried to sit up, but the moment my muscles tightened I let out a grunt of pain. Next to me, the man sat up from his slouched sleep and blinked open his eyes. They were a bright emerald. Like jewels. He looked over and me with a shocked expression.

"K–Kazuki?!" he breathed. I looked over at him confused. How did he know my name? "Kazuki!" he exclaimed as he practically jumped in the bed with me. He hugged me and pain shot through my abdomen. I let out another grunt, but this time it was closer to a cry. The man quickly let go as he heard my outburst of pain. "I'm sorry," he said, still breathless, "It's just…I'm so glad to see you awake." He leaned in to hug me again, but this time it was very gentle. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and buried his face in my neck. "I missed you," he whispered.

I squirmed uneasily under his embrace. "Wh–What are you doing?" I asked him, very confused and very uncomfortable. The man withdrew his face from my neck to look me in the eyes.

"I thought because of what you said in the car we would be..." As he trailed off his sentence he leaned down to me. He touched his lips to mine.

_What the heck?! _With all the strength I had as I ignored the pain, I pushed the man away. "Get off of me!" I yelled. The man looked at me confused.

"What?" he asked; hurt clearly in his voice and eyes.

Before the man could say anything, a nurse came into the room. "Is something–" she cut off as she saw me. She brightened up. "Mr. Saito you're awake!" she said, "I'll inform the doctor." Before leaving she gave a friendly smile to the man. "See Haruto? He was going to be fine," she said as she left.

I looked back to Haruto. He was avoiding eye contact. "I–I'm sorry for that," he stuttered, "I'll go call your parents to tell them you are awake." With that he walked out of the room and I noticed he had a slight limp to his right leg. I sighed and wiped my lips as if to get rid of Haruto's lip germs. God I was so confused.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

My chest was tight as I tried not to limp out of Kazuki's room. So he really didn't feel that way. He just needed someone to take care of him while he was in pain. That's how it always was between the two of us. Something horrible would happen to Kazuki about Makoto not getting the hint of Kazuki's love towards him and Kazuki would come running to me.

Curse that Makoto Yamato. I hoped he died on his way to America. Or some American would kidnap him. Anything to get him to never come back to Japan. He'd hurt Kazuki too many times to be trusted. I had no idea why in the world I got so worked up over him. Usually I was calm and good natured around others. But Makoto…he got under my skin. Even before I met Kazuki. Makoto and I had only really become friends because of the brown haired beauty. Kazuki was so young and so naïve that it was adorable. He was the only person that made me smile so much in such a short time.

I pushed the thoughts of remorse away as I stepped up to the nurse's station and leaned on the counter. "Excuse me?" I asked the woman sitting behind a computer screen. She looked up and gave me a small smile.

"Yes young man?" she asked, wrinkles forming on the corner of her eyes as she smiled. I politely smiled back.

"May I use a phone?" I asked. _'Cause mine got crushed in between a door and a seat,_ I added in my head. She nodded.

"Of course," she said pointing towards the end of the counter, "Right there. Dial 9 to get a number out of the hospital." I smiled again, genuine this time.

"Thank you very much," I said right before making my way to the black phone dock. I pressed the receiver to my ear and dialed 9 before I went on with the number that Kazuki's parents had given me. I had dialed it so many times I had it memorized by now. They couldn't always stay at the hospital so I was their life-line on Kazuki's condition when visiting hours were closed. In the past two weeks, I had called them probably about a thousand times.

"Hello?" a voice answered on the other line. It was Kazuki's mother.

"It's Yukimura," I told her, using my formal name. I could picture her smiling, a smile that was exactly like Kazuki's.

"Anything happen?" she asked desperately. I nodded, and then remembered I was on the phone.

"Yes," I replied, making my voice sound excited, "He's fully awake. The doctor is seeing him now." I had to put at least an inch between my ear and the speaker as she squealed in delight.

"Kazuki's awake!" she exclaimed to, who I guessed, was her husband and Kazuki's father, "My little boy is finally awake!" I heard her sob and I couldn't help but smile. Kazuki was loved by everyone, especially his parents.

"I'm pretty sure you can come in if you explain to the secretaries at the front desk that he woke up," I told her once her sobbing quieted down just a bit, "I'll be here watching him until you get here."

"Yes, yes. Thank you so much, Yukimura," she sniffed, "You're such a great friend to Kazuki. I couldn't ask for a better man to watch my son." At that comment, I suddenly felt my cheeks grow hot. Did she guess that I loved Kazuki? No, there was no way. No one really knew of my love interests besides my own parents and Kazuki. Kazuki's parents didn't even know their son liked guys either. He had kept it a secret in case they were to get angry at him.

"Thank you Mrs. Saito," was all I could get out calmly. At that, we both hung up. I leaned on the counter again as I tried to calm myself, but the words that woman had spoken through the receiver made my stomach churn. I swallowed the lump in my throat and picked up the phone again. I needed to call my parents to tell them the news as well. I hit 9 again and then dialed my home phone easily as if breathing. It only rang twice before being picked up.

"Hello?" the voice of one of my fathers asked. I broke into a smile when I heard it was Nowaki.

"Nowaki? It's Haruto," I said. I called both my parents by their first names. Since they were both men, I couldn't really both call them dad. They obviously weren't my biological parents since two men couldn't have a child. I was adopted, just like my father Nowaki. I was adopted at the age of ten because my other father, Hiroki, didn't want to raise a child. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to take care of it right. He had a bit of a temper, and was sure he would strangle the child if it did so much as breathe wrong. I always laughed at Hiroki's temper. He had such a temper, but all that had to be done to quench it was for Nowaki to come up behind him and kiss his neck or something. Anger easily turned to embarrassment for Hiroki.

On the other hand, Nowaki was calm and gentle. He would have been a perfect father. He would have rather adopted a baby and raised it, but he wouldn't go against Hiroki's wish. Nowaki was stubborn and tried to talk Hiroki into it at first. But right before Hiroki would have given in, Nowaki told him that they wouldn't adopt a small child then.

Right before they had adopted me, I was asked if I was fine living in a same-sex home. I was excited at that because I had already noticed my interest in men. Being in a home with parents who were the same gender would mean that they wouldn't reject my love life. I wouldn't be punished for it. It actually made me pursue it more.

I ended up becoming pretty open with it in high school, but that didn't go too well. I was made fun of and beat up a few times. Finally I gave up and was going to just suppress my feelings for the rest of my life. Reject my taste in men and make myself fall in love with a woman. So I went out with a girl my senior year. She was my best friend all throughout high school, but I lost that relationship once she noticed me still staring at men as we were on dates. I just couldn't help it. I didn't feel attracted to her.

"Haruto!" Nowaki said. I could hear the smile in his voice. "How are things? Are you sure you don't want us to visit and make sure you have enough food and things when you go back to your house?" I smiled.

"No, it's fine. Really," I said, trying to hide my sadness from earlier with Kazuki yet again. Unfortunately most things didn't get past Nowaki, even on the phone.

"Haruto, what's wrong?" my father asked, his voice serious. I sighed, not answering. "Please tell me. I can help in any way I can, you know that." I bit my lip.

"Kazuki's awake…" I told him, not trying to hide my sorrow anymore.

"That's great!" Nowaki said, his voice still serious, "But that can't be what you're sad about. What is it?"

"He…didn't respond at all to anything that happened right before the crash," I said, "I thought that we would be together now, but I guess it was a one time thing for him. He almost acts as if it never happened or he made himself forget." I heard a sigh on the other end.

"Give him time," Nowaki said, "Just let him heal and get things back to normal. You might be surprised at how things will turn out. Now I'm really sorry but I need to go. I love you and stay safe okay? Call if you need anything."

"Yes sir," I answered, smiling a bit, "Tell Hiroki I said hi. Miss and love both of you."

"I will." I hung up the phone and let out a sigh. I always felt good after having a serious talk with Nowaki. He always knew what to say in any situation.

I turned around to see Kazuki's parents just walking out of the elevator. I waved so they saw me and made my way over as fast as my weak leg could carry me. I smiled when we met. "So they let you in?" I asked with a grin.

Kazuki's dad nodded. "They knew we were coming. The nurse told them and said you were calling us to come over," he said.

"Yeah the nurse heard me as I said it to Kazuki," I told them, "I'm sure you want to see him so let's go."

"Yes, please," Kazuki's mother pleaded. I smiled again and started to make my way to his room. They kept my slow pace, even though his mother looked as if she was going to push us aside and make a run for it.

We walked in to see the doctor staring at Kazuki, looking puzzled. "Are you sure about this?" the doctor asked. Kazuki nodded, looking as confused as he was when I left his room. The doctor sighed and turned around to see us as we walked over.

"Kazuki my darling!" his mother exclaimed and practically pushed the doctor away and hugged her son. Kazuki looked down at her with a confused expression. He glanced at the doctor and the doctor nodded. Kazuki then slowly hugged his mother back. His mother started to kiss his cheek and hair and face. Kazuki looked like he was eating some bad tasting food as she did so.

"Mr. and Mrs. Saito…" the doctor started. They both looked at him.

"Yes?" Kazuki's father asked.

"Your son Saito, Kazuki…can't remember a thing before waking up here. He has amnesia from the impact."


End file.
